History repeats itself, ‘first as tragedy, then as farce’. Revolutions are ignited and betrayed. Class oriented economies boom and bust. For ordinary people, events and experiences repeat themselves, almost cyclically; one thinks they are reaching new heights, only to be plunged again by some circumstance. At the bottom, situations we have experienced earlier – even mediocre ones – appear fantastic. We are reaching out for fulfilment, desperately trying to escape the quagmire we are caught in. Each time, we may settle for a little less of the dream, if only to escape the dizzying path through purgatory.
I made the somewhat extreme decision to delete my previous blog the other day. Actually, the decision wasn’t entirely my own – what decisions are entirely our own?
My previous blog had somehow vanished due to some bug or technical issue which is too complicated and irrelevant to discuss at length here. I had started to find my style as a writer and there is at least one article which contains sentimentality for me, gone forever. I could possibly have retrieved my content with some effort and time, but I recognised this as an opportunity to start-over again, in a more focused and purposeful way.
I suppose I am prone to take the more progressive choices – riskier – but perhaps more rewarding, if they succeed. Every cloud has a silver lining, doesn’t it? Meaningless clichés, said before. Or is the anonymous life punctuated by perpetual swings and roundabouts, ups and downs? They say when one door closes another opens, but one has the impression we spend our existence just going in and out. We think we’ve been here before, and it’s not as good the second time around. Most of us are sidelined, unable to contribute to the game on the field just in front of us. Nonetheless, we continue to attend training week after week. Are we progressing, retrogressing, are we repeating? Are we trapped?
Like a baby in a cot, staring up at the unalterable mobil, going round and round.